Low self-esteem

Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself — how you feel about your abilities and limitations. When you have healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself and see yourself as deserving the respect of others. When you have low self-esteem, you put little value on your opinions and ideas. You might constantly worry that you aren’t good enough and you may experience yourself at the mercy of people around you.
Here’s how to tell if your self-esteem needs a boost and why it’s important to develop a healthy sense of your own worth.

Factors that shape and influence self-esteem

Self-esteem begins to form in early childhood. Factors that can influence self-esteem include:

  • your own thoughts and perceptions
  • how other people react to you or treat you
  • experiences at home, school, work and in the community
  • illness, disability or injury
  • culture or religion
  • role and status in society
  • media messages about ‘the perfect you’

Relationships with those close to you — parents, siblings, peers, teachers and other important contacts — are important to your self-esteem. Many beliefs you hold about yourself today reflect messages you’ve received from these people over time. If your relationships are strong and you receive generally positive feedback, you’re more likely to see yourself as worthwhile and have healthier self-esteem. If you receive mostly negative feedback and are often criticized, teased or devalued by others, you’re more likely to struggle with poor self-esteem.
Still, your own thoughts have perhaps the biggest impact on self-esteem — and these thoughts are within your control. If you tend to focus on your weaknesses or flaws, you can learn to develop a more balanced, accurate view of yourself.

Our work together focuses on changing the negative beliefs you hold about yourself and learning to discern what thinking styles and feeling states will increase your chances of success and happiness.